Dear Sugar

So I was at work today, listening to a podcast (The Writer's Block...PBS?) and it was one of those podcasts that make you stop working and start listening. Not just the type of listening like the way you listen to music mindlessly while working, but listening the way you listen when you can't do anything but listen because what you're listening to compels you to Just Listen (anybody else read that Sarah Dessen book?). That kind of listening.

I was listening to an excerpt from Tiny Beautiful Things (http://www.amazon.com/Tiny-Beautiful-Things-Advice-Sugar/dp/0307949338), which I'd heard about and had been curious about but hadn't read. And now it's on my to-read list. I'm not sure how long it'll take me to get the book (let's just say the list is a long one and leave it at that), but I definitely want to read it.

This is an excerpt from the excerpt she read from. Find the whole column here: http://therumpus.net/2011/02/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-64/

Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you’ll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you’ll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. Acceptance is a small, quiet room.
...
The useless days will add up to something. The shitty waitressing jobs. The hours writing in your journal. The long meandering walks. The hours reading poetry and story collections and novels and dead people’s diaries and wondering about sex and God and whether you should shave under your arms or not. These things are your becoming.



To long meandering walks and reading and wondering, and yes, even shitty jobs, because they are "your becoming." To becoming.

Dalai Lama: You Are Just Who You Are

“There is only one important point you must keep in your mind and let it be your guide. No matter what people call you, you are just who you are. Keep to this truth. You must ask yourself how is it you want to live your life. We live and we die, this is the truth that we can only face alone. No one can help us, not even the Buddha. So consider carefully, what prevents you from living the way you want to live your life?
-Dalai Lama XIV

I think keeping to the truth of who you are is difficult. I can't decide if I think it's easy or hard to even know who you are...there are days I think it's incredibly simple and people just complicate things needlessly. And then there are days I am so confused about everything, and I can't even begin to explain.

I guess we can always keep asking, though. I think it's important to. Don't drive yourself crazy about it, but ask: how do you want to live your life? And what prevents you from living the way you want to live your life?

There are so many factors to consider, of course. It's completely overwhelming to think of instituting huge changes and sticking to it. Maybe the way to go (for me, at least) is to integrate a little bit of change every day. Not everything at once, but baby steps.

Maybe the most important thing is not succeeding (because we're all works-in-progress, right? There will always be room for improvement), but just to keep trying. To wake up every day and keep asking these really difficult questions and reflecting and trying.

To keeping to this truth that you are just who you are, to asking how you want to live your life, to living the way you want to live your life.

Having It All vs. Having Enough

Full text of the article: http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2012/07/what-my-sons-disabilities-taught-me-about-having-it-all/260479/

We are chasing the wrong things, asking ourselves the wrong questions. It is not, "Can we have it all?" -- with "all" being some kind of undefined marker that shall forever be moved upwards out of reach just a little bit with each new blessing. We should ask instead, "Do we have enough?" 
-Marie Myung-Ok Lee

I think that's incredibly wise. The more I think about and read this quote, the more I agree. Why do we keep asking if we can have it all? What is with this obsession with having everything? Why do we want it all?

I like dresses. At last count a few months ago, I had forty-some dresses hanging in my closet. Do I need that many dresses? No. Absolutely not. But I like having them. And I continually find myself drawn to dresses when I go shopping. There's always the thought of another dress. I will never own every single dress. It's ridiculous to think about that...but do I have enough? Yes. Much more than enough. (No, that's probably not going to stop me from buying more dresses, but hopefully thinking of this quote will give me some extra perspective.) And okay, this was probably not the best example, but hey, it applies to my life, certainly.

Think about your life. Think about everything you have. No, you don't have everything. Someone has newer, improved, more expensive...well, just about everything - clothes, technology, a house. But think about everything you do have. Is it enough?

Do I have enough? Resoundingly: yes. And I ask you to take a moment: I suspect you might, too.
-Marie Myung-Ok Lee

To having enough instead of desperately pursuing "having it all" (whatever that means, anyway).